Eighty Five Days and Counting

 

Photo by Angela Schultz

To be honest, it begins the moment I board the plane in Chiang Mai on my way back to Canada.  My heart sets a countdown.  One, two, three...like a quiet little tick, tick, tick.  

How long until I can come back?  

Since the pandemic, I think it's been worse.  That stretch of 2 years 8 months and 11 days was brutal.  And it had its own set of implications on my connection with the children, for sure.  That's a big space between when you're 10 and when you're 13, as was the case for many of our girls.  So who is this white lady again?  And where was she when everything was all so awful?

Yes, the disruptive factor of longer absences is definitely always on my mind.  

And it lays heavy on my heart.  

And it goes with the territory.

Just to be clear, I love my life in Canada.  I am rich in relationships.  My grandchildren live close to me, and they are very much part of my life.  I deeply appreciate the benefits of living in the true north, strong and free, even with our health care, economic, and general state of government challenges (which are real, but in no way compare to what others on the planet have to contend with, just sayin').  I am always glad to be back in my own bed, and to settle myself into the comforts of home.  I'm crazy about my husband and always glad to get back to him.

There's just this reality about my life now.  Both places feel like home to me.  

In a very real way, I'm always homesick.

For the past eight-five days I've been holding my own pretty much okay.

There was an unusually intensive fall to recover from.

There was a longer-than-normal jet lag to recover from.

There was Christmas in all it's glory to plan and then enjoy.

There was an equally missional Haiti Dinner and Auction to participate in.

And under it all, there has been and continues to be an all out effort to prepare our house to sell this spring.  (More on that as things unfold.  For now I'll just reassure everyone that we're NOT leaving KW, as that seems to be the first question about the move.)

So I've been fairly occupied.

But now?

On my list now are things like "Email travel agent for airfare costs for July and November."  And, "Begin work on Bible Lessons for the 'This Is My Family" unit for July."  And "Map out cottage plans to coordinate with next visit to Thailand."

And the countdown on my heart is louder.

In all of this I am so glad for the companionship of other missionary pastors who get it.  Through reading their excellent books, articles and autobiographies, I know that this sense of having my heart ache in different directions is par for the course.  It's just something we must learn to live with as part of this unique and humbling call to that 'other place' where God has allowed us to serve Him.  Hey, Paul knew it too.  Just try reading through any of his letters to the churches, which make up most of our New Testament by the way, without finding some expression of overt longing for the people in that place.

Some of you might get this too.  Anyone who loves anyone who is far away is probably on a countdown of their own.  Love does that.  

Some missions organizations function differently.  They discourage emotional connections for a whole lot of their own reasons.  And while I obviously disagree, and we approach this and other missional partnerships very differently, I do admit the risk is there.  

This is hard.

But it's oh so worth it.

Eighty-five, eighty-six, eighty-seven...

Tick, tick, tick.....

Timing Is Everything: The Unfinished Story of The Land Deed

Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good,

for at the proper time we will reap a harvest,

if we do not give up.

"Follow me in case of snakes." A. Suradet

If there's anything I'm learning from my Thai family it's the capacity for an expanded relationship with time.  This is an 'event-oriented' culture, compared to our Western 'time-oriented' way of doing life, and it's likely one of the biggest differences this Type-A, first-born-female, administrative-maniac, efficiency-loving missionary-wannabe, excessive-user-of-hyphenated-words, has had to navigate.

This expansion of time thing has never been more evident as in our pursuit of a deed for a piece of property on which we hope to build a proper open concept home for the children. 

So many incredible flowers on the property.

The property itself is being donated (for a small transfer fee), and is ideal for our purposes.  Situated in between Hot Springs Church and both the elementary and high schools where our kids attend, it allows for Suradet and Yupa to continue their ministry as local pastors without disrupting the flow of life for the children.  It's on a quieter road than where we are now, this neighbourhood being significantly built up over the past ten years to the point where the children are not allowed to walk along the road due to traffic.  The new place is literally a five minute walk to a local community football (soccer) field.  And the layout of the land, and the view, are both quite captivating.  I for one would have loved to grow up here.

LOVE working this this Team!

But we need a deed.  The property is properly owned, but local municipal government has the right to control the use of land by providing or withholding the official documentation required to develop the land.   We've been asking, but the wait has lasted four years to now.


"At the proper time" takes on new meaning when considering these things.  Because, to be honest, a lot of things have needed to line up before we could do anything with the property anyways.  It wasn't until last year in November that New Family Foundation was officially approved as a charitable foundation in Thailand.  Up until May of 2018, I certainly would not have had the head space and focus to navigate the multi-layered, highly complex territory of Thai business and charitable law.  And, well, right now at least, we have no money.

That last little matter notwithstanding, we have persisted.  It's a matter of trust.  God's timing is perfect, after all.  We just keep taking the next steps forward to see what He's going to do.

And it seems that something's right about the timing of this trip, with Ken here especially, for the first two weeks of October.  Because after four years of trying and being told we just have to wait, something different has happened.  We've got some traction.

I night attribute this to three things that are different this time out than in all our previous attempts.

Suradet, Me, Yupa's Dad, Yupa, Ken, Pi Pooey

One - We went in person to the desk of the Land Deed officer.  Before this, all requests had been made by phone, which is normal and expected and normally considered more than sufficient in carrying out these matters.  But since Ken and I were here, Suradet had the idea that maybe a face to face was in order, just to get a bit more attention.

Bleached and Abandoned

Two - That face to face included white faces.  I'm sorry to say so, but the presence of 'farangs' (foreigners), who are usually associated with having resources, does make a difference in the social order of things around here.  The assumption is that if you have Western people backing you, then there's a greater possibility of whatever you're planning actually happening.  [Note: This can also backfire, like when the company arrives to pump out your septic tanks and charges you triple because there's a 'farang' (me!), sitting on the porch working.  But that's another (true) story.]  It seems that Ken and I were able to provide some leverage in this way.  [Another Note:  I am currently in the process of writing an academic paper about Paul's experience as a missionary that includes something called 'status inconsistency.  I'm eager to explore the delicacies of this more, especially in terms of how to balance out power inequities.  But that's another (long) piece of writing.]

Preferred location for main buildings.

Three - The Deed Officer apparently had not known we were interested in building a place for children in need.  She said most land deeds are requested so that properties can be developed for business and they are trying to keep that area more on the quiet side of things.  With this new understanding, the Officer, whose name is Pi Pooey (means sister of enrichment, more or less) said she would process things differently.  She herself is a supporter of under-resourced children in Thailand, and as such is more inclined to help us achieve our goals.

So, on Tuesday, October 15, she made good on this promise by actually coming out to the property itself in order to receive a site map, official documentation that we are a registered charity, and copies of the Thai citizenship of the current owners, all of which we had easily at hand.   I have to admit, since the process has hit so many snags up until now, I was surprised when she actually arrived.

So what's next? 

On Wednesday, October 17 there was a regional meeting where our request and documentation was presented.  We have been told we will hear an answer on Friday.

I'm writing this on Thursday.

Although I could save myself another posting, and/or even wrap up this post more 'tidily' by waiting until tomorrow for the outcome, it seems actually more appropriate to invite you to sit with me in this particular moment.  Because, we're still waiting.  And truth be told, even once we hear a yes from the regional council, we're still looking at a two month period of time before we have the paper in hand.

So we're waiting.  Still.  Waiting.  Waiting and being still in that ever-expanding dimension of time that is trusting God.  Might be a day or two, might be another month, might be who knows?

 But I do know it will be "at the proper time" because that's just how God works these things. 
And I'm learning more and more to just be still in that space. 
Like right now. 
Here, on the porch outside on an October day without knowing for sure. 

Explaining our vision again.