Bunny Abundance

She sits so still this time, as if she wants her picture taken.   Even though this bunny has been in my yard often enough this season that I would like to consider us friends, I still can't really get very close.  She's pretty shy I guess.  But not this day.  This day I talk softly, asking permission, telling her she's so pretty....and brave for letting me step nearer.   I like bunnies.  I try to keep this a bit of a secret from my gardening friends.  They seem to express different sentiments about these backyard guests.  Things I wouldn't want my bunny to hear.  It would be too disturbing.   Admittedly, this is one of the reasons I don't try to have a vegetable garden myself.  But still. 

 Last summer.  There is a strange absence of chipmunks at the cottage.   Not a one comes up on the deck to pay me a visit.  No amount of peanuts for no length of time is adequate to call them from the forest, if they are there at all.  Normally I can have as many as seven or eight vying for my treats.  They are named because most of them have some defining feature, something that can be noticed when they are up close and personal like this, taking peanuts from my hand.  But not last summer.  Last summer I actually have to wait until I am home to make friends with the ones in the backyard.

 I am paid stealthy visits from the geese and the loons though.  Majestic, gliding creatures, silent and vocal in alternating moods.  These I do not feed, or even expect any chance to form a friendship.  They are more distant, and perhaps all the more beautiful and mysterious because of it.




Bunnies and chipmunks and geese and loons.  Seagulls and ducks and beavers and foxes and otters.  Raccoons, skunks, possums.  Countless songbirds.  Large turtles.  Lizards and snakes and bullfrogs.  There is in my life, both city and otherwise, an abundance of animal life to interact with in respectful, appropriate ways.

But I wouldn't think of eating any of them.
It doesn't even occur to me.
Until Suradet asks.

Two squirrels in the yard make a spectacle of their quarrel, chasing and being chased in the grass and around the trunk of a tree in a spiral of contempt.  Suradet, visiting from Thailand for the first time, watches out my back kitchen window and asks me.  "Aroi mia?"  "Are these tasty?"

I've since seen squirrels, skinned and splayed on sticks, for sale at the market.  To eat.  Not here.  There.  There they raise crickets and beetles and meal worms. meant for human consumption and sold by the basket fulls, with large scoops and plastic bags, as if it were the bulk food section of the grocery store.

I've since watched Eak, one of our boys, catch a mouse by hand and roast it over the fire for a bed time snack.

But standing by my window with Suradet those many years ago now, I didn't understand.  Not the question.  And not the paradigm.




Suradet would ask the same question about road kill.  Why doesn't anyone come to get this for dinner?  He seems actually perturbed that a good meal who be left to rot like that.


And I didn't understand.  Not the question.  And not the paradigm.

And then, I'm there, and we're sitting around the circle with the children, and he's telling the children about this strange thing he saw in Canada when he was here.

"In Canada", he explains, "there is so much food, that they let it run free in their backyards."  "In Canada", he explains, "there is so much food that they let it lie on the side of the road to rot."

And the children's eyes are wide, trying to imagine a place where there's that much abundance.

I wish I was making this up.

There's a 'thing' for people who travel to various places, particularly under resourced places, called 'counter-culture shock'.  It's the strangeness one experiences coming home to realize that a radically new perspective has been gained, and one's own culture can never be seen quite the same again.

I have this.  And when I step carefully, gently, reassuringly closer to my bunny friend whom I will not eat, I think of it.  I think of all the food I have, all my life.  Every meal.  Something to eat.  And how there's so much food running loose in my backyard that I have the bizarre luxury of making friends with it.

This can't be guilt.  I have had no control over my birthright, my being Canadian, or even the socio-economic class into which I was born.  So the sense of it isn't an anguishing, crippling thing.  Rather, I have learned to let it motivate me otherwise.  Motivate me to gratitude.  Motivate me to releasing all the abundance of my life to these priceless ones who'll eat anything.

Without pity.
With dignity.
Reciprocally giving and receiving. Cross-culture-shocked into realizing that somehow in all my bunny abundance, there more in this whole big world than I could ever possibly have the capacity to receive. 

Packing Long Term for a Short Term Missions Trip

I'll begin with a confession.  I'm not a fan of the term "short term missions trip".

There are lots of reasons for this, many of which have been well articulated in books and articles, a sampling of which are included with links here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzUKZajloJY   An interview with the authors of When Helping Hurts

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_Helping_Hurts  Wikipedia

https://www.postandcourier.com/news/do-no-harm-the-pros-and-cons-of-short-term/article_17f4cf56-a842-11e6-be97-a7c74edac56a.html  

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/why-you-should-consider-cancelling-your-short-term-mission-trips/  

These and other articles give some sober food for thought worth considering.  But I really do think they are describing something completely different than what Highview has established in our partnership with Hot Springs Church.  Yes, we visit frequently for shorter periods of time than a 'career' missionary would.  This will be true even once I am completely focused on my new role as Missionary In Residence.  I'm not moving to Thailand.

But we've done this differently.  Because we've discovered quite organically, quite by accident truth be told, that nothing about any time spent in a different culture should be 'short term' except maybe how it defines the number of days you're away from home.

I have come to believe that if we pack properly - our hearts not our suitcases - everything about this venture should matter for the long term.  Matter to both ourselves and our hosts.  And matter in ways that are essential to being human.

I certainly do have a list of practical items you're going to want to be sure to have if you visit Thailand. And if you ever want to come, we would all be delighted and would be happy to help you prepare in that way.

But more important would be how we would do a different king of packing.  And toward that end I would offer seven attitudes I believe are essential to bring with us in order to extend the impact of any length of trip into the 'long term', for everyone involved.

1.  Humility

Here's something I have discovered that keeps things in more accurate balance.  The people you are about to encounter in your journey are rich beyond your imagination in ways you desperately need. Often enough - and I was certainly guilty of this my first time out - the emphasis is on what we (that's the white privileged ones) think we're bringing to them (that's the under resourced 'other').  This is so not how it works.  So let's leave behind any sense of entitlement or importance.  Hopefully the experience itself will knock that out of us soon enough.

2.  Curiosity

Step in, be fully engaged, learn and absorb as much as you possibly can.  Stay open to new things.  What does that taste like?  What does this mean?   Why is this woman rubbing her nose against my arm?  (Yes, that could likely come up in Thailand).  By all means stay in contact with friends and family at home.  But put your device away and get curious about the sights, smells, sounds....and the people around you.  What's important to them?  What makes them laugh?  How do they see the world? Let's bring a healthy dose of curiosity so that we can stay alert to all God has in mind as this trip spiritually transforms us. 

3.  Reciprocity

Related but not exactly the same as humility.  We watch for ways our interactions and new relationships have a give and take, a back and forth.  We feel the flow of that and learn its rhythm.  Let's resist the arrogance of thinking we're doing all the giving, and open ourselves to receive as well. After all, all the best relationships have balance.  Normally, we tend to feel safest and most free in relationships or partnerships that capture a sense of equity. 

4.  Ability

Share what you have, for sure.  Everyone of us will have some ability or skill or gifting to bring to the relationship.  We can read to an English learner, play soccer with the children, dig a ditch, build a clinic, teach that Bible lesson, take blood pressures for an afternoon.  And when we do have financial resources to offer, by all means, we do so carefully and appropriately and wisely.  If we pack an attitude that intends to participate fully with whatever abilities we bring, that will, without question, enhance and equip and be genuinely helpful.

5.  Generosity

Here I'm not just talking about gifts or money.  Rather, a hands-open attitude with our spirit.  A generosity of spirit that takes risks emotionally, takes off the masks, and recklessly gives love away.  "To hear the call is to give your life away....is to give your love away." so says Robbie Seay in a favourite worship song at Highview, "Rise".  

6.  Perspicacity

I love this word!  And I love what it means, particularly in packing for a missions trip.  It's about clear thinking, staying sharp, thinking things through.  When we pack perspicacity we have a better chance of asking the essential questions about our interactions.  We're constantly thinking, 'What are the long term implications of this thing I'm about to do?'  'How does the other culture understand these actions?'  'Where can I get more information?'  'Who can I consult?'   While some of this takes us further into the longer term, packing a careful attitude will serve us well even if our time spent is short.

7.  Tenacity

We are definitely going to need this.  Without fail, some parts of the culture and climate and the experience will press us to the edge of ourselves.  The heat.  The food.  The bugs.  The mental stress of constantly hearing a language we don't understand.  Adjusting to an event-oriented way of thinking rather than a time-oriented way of thinking (this one is huge!).  And then there's just living in close quarters with a whole group of people for a segment of time.  What about introverts in a culture with everything is done together?  Sticking with it and staying positive will be a challenge.  Tenacity is definitely something we should bring along.

Packing these seven attitudes will long-term your short-term missions trips in ways that might surprise you.  AND ways that will strengthen and benefit those you have visited.

I believe that as a human race, we are stronger globally if we make honest, incarnational relationships with people different from us.  We are more human.  The planet is a better place.  Politically, we are less inclined to go to war with people we've made a bond with.  Spiritually, we are better able to share Jesus the way Jesus shared Himself, if we think long term.

So I'm not moving to Thailand, but there is nothing short term about our connection.  This has been ten years in the making.  I'm praying for at least ten more.  It's a long term dream I'm dreaming.  Even if it happens in short spurts.

Next visit is in the works for end of July/beginning of August.  Packing already.

An Uneasy Certainty

Da and Me around the campfire.

 "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."

God to Joshua (1:6)

Trust-building is a delicate and complex thing.  But however it happens, one element must be in place or the whole thing falls apart.

You just need to keep on showing up.

Children know this.  That's why my 14 month old grandson Jayden cries when Mom goes away.  He's working on building trust, object permanence, and figuring out how the world works when it comes to the people he loves.  When Mom comes back, when his needs are met in age-appropriate, development-appropriate, love-strengthening ways, he feels secure.  And a secure infant is so much more free to take learning risks, absorb nutrients and information, sleep well, and generally grow up to be a more secure adult. 

Thai children know about trust too, except there are a tragic number of them who understand it from the wrong side of bonding.  Every one of our kids at Hot Springs has had at least one, if not both parents go away and never come back.  Death, prison, or simple abandonment - that's what they know.  People you desperately love sometimes don't stick around.  Sometimes they don't show up when they are supposed to.

Da knows this.

She came to Hot Springs at the age of six.  She was shy and sweet and not doing so well in school, as is often the case at first when you are from the mountain and have only known your tribal language (Karen) up until now.   We only really ever get a glimpse, a guess, as to what life is like before coming to Hot Springs.  They come to us skinny and in desperate need of a bath and often lethargic due to malnutrition.  By the time I met Da, she'd been with the family for three months and was just beginning to plump up a bit and come out of her shell.  She was also hungry for the quiet attention of sitting up close on the bench, holding hands, not talking.

I remember one particular nighttime camp fire, the night before I had to leave.  Since most of life is lived outdoors in rural Thailand, campfires are common, and we have a fire pit at the far end of the dining shelter.  It makes for a great place to hang out just before bed, to do homework, roast a frog or a cricket if you can catch one, and ask questions.

Lots of questions were happening that night, because we had with us Boy whose university English, availability and heart to serve had qualified him as a translator for our teams on several occasions.  Usually Boy was employed to translate at morning and evening devotions, or for Sunday sermons.  But on this evening, it was all casual.  And the children, quite on their own, were asking Boy to ask me questions.  Mostly about the magical far away place called Canada.  A lot about snow.  A few about school.  Some about my family. 

And then Da.  Squished up beside me, she directs her question to Boy who reacts with a mild expression of surprise even before he begins to translate.  "Do people ever die in Canda?"  Da wants to know.

I am taken aback.   Does Da really think there's such a place on the planet?  I reply simply, "Yes.  People die in Canada.  Everywhere, at one point, everyone's body dies."

There is silence.   I let it sit.  And then Da again.

"Ajahn Ruth.  Are you ever coming back to us?"

My heart squeezes in my chest.  That happens a lot here.  I turn her face up to mine and look into her too-wise, deep brown eyes and see something too hard for a little girl who's only six.

Aw baby, who died on you, and didn't come back?

I choose my response carefully.  There are no guarantees, ever.  But.

"As long as the Lord gives me strength, I will come back to you."  I say strongly.  Boy translates this.  Then.  "We have a saying in English.  'Wild horses couldn't keep me away.'"  Boy smiles, and then translates, and then explains, and there is a ripple of giggles around the circle.  And Da snuggles up closer.

Yes, honey.  I'll be back. 

If I have any say in it whatsoever, I absolutely will be back.

Again, I am undone in the moment.

Do you wonder why I come here so often?
This is why.

A lovely, secure, preteen Da.

And it's not just Da.  I think that trust took time to build for Suradet and Yupa as well.   Who were these far away white people, and what were they up to, really?  Would they come back?  Would they really, actually, truly care enough to keep on showing up?

That was ten years ago.   No one asks me if I'm coming back any more.  Just when.   Because showing up is how trust is built.  And trust is the foundation of all relationships, especially the ones where you learn from one anothers' hearts how to heal, how to love, and how to be better at being human, together.

The Sponsor Experience

One of the best surprises of our connection with Hot Springs Children's Home has been the personal nature of our sponsorships.  

Members of the 2008 Team at our first ever visit to Hot Springs. Six girls shared this bedroom.

 

Initially, it was all about an urgent need.  That first Team came back from our time there in 2008 with pictures and stories of (at that time) eleven children who desperately needed to be housed, fed and clothed, as well as be given the opportunity to go to school.  It didn't take long.  Within seven days every one of the children had someone who had promised to provide monthly donations and occasional gift packets that said, "We love you and we believe in you and you are not alone!"

It just seemed like the right thing to do.

But along the way this wonderful surprise happened.  We'll call it 'personal'.  We'll call it 'real time'.  We'll call it 'family'.

I asked some of our Sponsors to describe in their own words what this surprising connection has meant to them.

Megan Ogilvie (who jointly sponsors one of our most recent graduates, Apple) writes: 

Apple, on her way to University.

Heidi and I initially decided to become sponsors because we wanted to help the place both our hearts had become attached to. I'd gone once on my own, and once with Heidi, and after seeing how wonderful and loving Hot Springs was, we couldn't NOT help! We wanted to be a part of such a loving family, and help in any way we could. Hot Springs is a special place. 

Being a sponsor is so rewarding! A couple times a year we get updates on how our sponsor child is doing, and it's really nice to feel like you've had a hand in that progress. It's also just nice being able to see them grow into their own person. You want them to do well. You're rooting for them. With everything going on in the world, it's nice to have someone on the other side of the world to cheer on and help in whatever small ways possible. 

I've met my sponsor child twice. It's strengthened the connection so thoroughly. Before, when we'd send packets, I was never entirely sure that what I was sending was what she wanted. After having met her, I got a good sense of her likes and dislikes, and could tailor the packet to be things I knew she wanted and needed. Meeting her also made a stronger bond between the two of us. I now have great memories of swimming at Tutu's pool on a sunny day, or singing poorly translated Taylor Swift lyrics in the back of the truck. And those are memories that the two of us will always share. Meeting them makes them feel real. It's not just sending money and items somewhere in the world - they're going to a real person with real dreams and struggles. 

Heidi Mullins (Megan's partner Sponsor) writes:

Opening a Sponsor's Packet

My sister, Starr, went on a mission trip to Hot Springs in Thailand, so I got to hear directly from her about what she experienced. Knowing exactly who my money would be going to and who it would be benefiting was really intriguing, so I looked into it more and decided to sponsor a child jointly with Megan.  

Seeing how the money is being used in a personal and direct way - knowing my money is going to the child I am sponsoring to suit their immediate needs. It's also fun making personalized care packages specifically for my sponsor child. My sponsor child, Apple, has now graduated and knowing that my financial contribution helped her achieve her goal of being a nursing assistant is very rewarding. 

I've had the privileged of meeting my sponsor child, Apple, twice (2012 and 2014). Seeing how much she grew in those two years was incredible. Even seeing how much she changed from the first picture we received from when she arrived at Hot Springs, to when I first met her in 2012 - she looked so much healthier and happier! It was fun getting to meet her, hug her, and get to know her more (finding out her favourite colour, bible verse, subject in school, etc). It makes sponsoring so much more personal. As sponsors, we've been told that the Kids have devotions twice a day (morning and night) and that they pray for their sponsors every day - but being able to participate in those daily devotions and being there is life changing. I also feel like for those who haven't had a chance to meet their sponsor child personally, just having the connection through Highview with Hot Springs makes it so much more intimate than possible through other large organizations. When Suradet and Yupa have a need, we're able to pray specifically for that need. We get to see pictures and hear stores of the kids we sponsor.

 Emily Inthof sponsors a young guy named Bang (who hilariously plays the drums!).  She writes:

Bang, sporting his "I take my drumming seriously" look.

I decided to become a sponsor when I became a bit more financially stable after I graduated university. Sponsoring a child is a very simple way to give back and it can make a huge difference in that child's life. 

Knowing that I'm helping a specific child have a home at Hot Springs is a big deal to me. But it's also cool to see pictures and real stories/drawings from my sponsor child; it's a bit closer of a connection than other sponsorship programs.

Our soon-to-be Senior Pastor Erin and her husband Dave recently came alongside to sponsor Laywee, one of the children of our staff couple Pastors Jaroen and Dtu. Here's some of their thoughts.

Laywee

Our family found ourselves with more than we needed and were looking for a way to give back. When Laywee's sponsorship came up, he was God's answer to our prayers.

Knowing that Laywee is "a ministry kid" much like our own boys, whose parents are working hard for God's kingdom, makes us feel like there is a connection. It's hard being a PK. As parents, we appreciate when others love on our boys, and pay attention to what they need or want. We wanted to give that gift to another ministry family.

We haven't met Laywee yet, but the fact that this is a possibility is very exciting for us.

These are Sponsors, among others who've joined the Hot Springs family, who are making a difference.

How?

Most of our children are from rural mountain villages that exist well below the poverty line.
Children from mountain villages do not have birth certificates, therefore cannot go to school, therefore cannot break out of the cycle of poverty.
Children in the mountain villages often do not have enough to eat, poor nutrition at best.
In these rural settings there is minimal communication with the 'outside' world in that tribal languages are not the language of commerce and education in Thailand.

But...
If these children can go to school and get positions of influence within the greater society, change can happen from within.
This is not about western ideas being imposed upon Asian cultures, by the way.  This is about equipping them to be change agents within their own culture.

True, we are a Christian organization so there is clearly a faith-based world view in our raising of the children.  We make no apologies for that.  In fact, the Christian understanding that we have one and only one life to live, meaning that our choices in this life have great weight and consequences, is a effective motivator within a culture that often does not understand the cause and effect connection in the same way.

There are always children on the waiting list!

Even though Hot Springs is not accepting new children into our family right at this time, we are always seeking out new partners who want to make a difference in the life of a child in this way.

There are several ways to do that.

• Sponsor one child for $75.00 per month through our simple Pre-Authorized Withdrawal program.

• Sponsor one university student for $2,000 per year, payments arranged to your convenience.

• General contributions to Hot Springs to help cover staff salaries, repairs and upkeep to facilities.

• General contributions to the new school building project happening 'soon'.

All contributions go through Highview Community Church and are tax deductible.

Traditional school uniforms.  Must be Friday!

If becoming a Sponsor sounds like a good fit for your own passions and desires to make a difference, and if you're up for the adventure, please let us know.

Contact me at rabreithaupt@hcckw.ca and I we can set up a time to chat, arrange for an in person visit, and otherwise make something surprising happen once again.

For further reading about the plight of children in Thailand please see:

http://www.straitstimes.com/asia/se-asia/idyllic-thai-province-hides-a-dirty-secret

http://unesdoc.unesco.org/images/0025/002527/252749e.pdf

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