An Uneasy Certainty

Da and Me around the campfire.

 "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."

God to Joshua (1:6)

Trust-building is a delicate and complex thing.  But however it happens, one element must be in place or the whole thing falls apart.

You just need to keep on showing up.

Children know this.  That's why my 14 month old grandson Jayden cries when Mom goes away.  He's working on building trust, object permanence, and figuring out how the world works when it comes to the people he loves.  When Mom comes back, when his needs are met in age-appropriate, development-appropriate, love-strengthening ways, he feels secure.  And a secure infant is so much more free to take learning risks, absorb nutrients and information, sleep well, and generally grow up to be a more secure adult. 

Thai children know about trust too, except there are a tragic number of them who understand it from the wrong side of bonding.  Every one of our kids at Hot Springs has had at least one, if not both parents go away and never come back.  Death, prison, or simple abandonment - that's what they know.  People you desperately love sometimes don't stick around.  Sometimes they don't show up when they are supposed to.

Da knows this.

She came to Hot Springs at the age of six.  She was shy and sweet and not doing so well in school, as is often the case at first when you are from the mountain and have only known your tribal language (Karen) up until now.   We only really ever get a glimpse, a guess, as to what life is like before coming to Hot Springs.  They come to us skinny and in desperate need of a bath and often lethargic due to malnutrition.  By the time I met Da, she'd been with the family for three months and was just beginning to plump up a bit and come out of her shell.  She was also hungry for the quiet attention of sitting up close on the bench, holding hands, not talking.

I remember one particular nighttime camp fire, the night before I had to leave.  Since most of life is lived outdoors in rural Thailand, campfires are common, and we have a fire pit at the far end of the dining shelter.  It makes for a great place to hang out just before bed, to do homework, roast a frog or a cricket if you can catch one, and ask questions.

Lots of questions were happening that night, because we had with us Boy whose university English, availability and heart to serve had qualified him as a translator for our teams on several occasions.  Usually Boy was employed to translate at morning and evening devotions, or for Sunday sermons.  But on this evening, it was all casual.  And the children, quite on their own, were asking Boy to ask me questions.  Mostly about the magical far away place called Canada.  A lot about snow.  A few about school.  Some about my family. 

And then Da.  Squished up beside me, she directs her question to Boy who reacts with a mild expression of surprise even before he begins to translate.  "Do people ever die in Canda?"  Da wants to know.

I am taken aback.   Does Da really think there's such a place on the planet?  I reply simply, "Yes.  People die in Canada.  Everywhere, at one point, everyone's body dies."

There is silence.   I let it sit.  And then Da again.

"Ajahn Ruth.  Are you ever coming back to us?"

My heart squeezes in my chest.  That happens a lot here.  I turn her face up to mine and look into her too-wise, deep brown eyes and see something too hard for a little girl who's only six.

Aw baby, who died on you, and didn't come back?

I choose my response carefully.  There are no guarantees, ever.  But.

"As long as the Lord gives me strength, I will come back to you."  I say strongly.  Boy translates this.  Then.  "We have a saying in English.  'Wild horses couldn't keep me away.'"  Boy smiles, and then translates, and then explains, and there is a ripple of giggles around the circle.  And Da snuggles up closer.

Yes, honey.  I'll be back. 

If I have any say in it whatsoever, I absolutely will be back.

Again, I am undone in the moment.

Do you wonder why I come here so often?
This is why.

A lovely, secure, preteen Da.

And it's not just Da.  I think that trust took time to build for Suradet and Yupa as well.   Who were these far away white people, and what were they up to, really?  Would they come back?  Would they really, actually, truly care enough to keep on showing up?

That was ten years ago.   No one asks me if I'm coming back any more.  Just when.   Because showing up is how trust is built.  And trust is the foundation of all relationships, especially the ones where you learn from one anothers' hearts how to heal, how to love, and how to be better at being human, together.

The Sponsor Experience

One of the best surprises of our connection with Hot Springs Children's Home has been the personal nature of our sponsorships.  

Members of the 2008 Team at our first ever visit to Hot Springs. Six girls shared this bedroom.

 

Initially, it was all about an urgent need.  That first Team came back from our time there in 2008 with pictures and stories of (at that time) eleven children who desperately needed to be housed, fed and clothed, as well as be given the opportunity to go to school.  It didn't take long.  Within seven days every one of the children had someone who had promised to provide monthly donations and occasional gift packets that said, "We love you and we believe in you and you are not alone!"

It just seemed like the right thing to do.

But along the way this wonderful surprise happened.  We'll call it 'personal'.  We'll call it 'real time'.  We'll call it 'family'.

I asked some of our Sponsors to describe in their own words what this surprising connection has meant to them.

Megan Ogilvie (who jointly sponsors one of our most recent graduates, Apple) writes: 

Apple, on her way to University.

Heidi and I initially decided to become sponsors because we wanted to help the place both our hearts had become attached to. I'd gone once on my own, and once with Heidi, and after seeing how wonderful and loving Hot Springs was, we couldn't NOT help! We wanted to be a part of such a loving family, and help in any way we could. Hot Springs is a special place. 

Being a sponsor is so rewarding! A couple times a year we get updates on how our sponsor child is doing, and it's really nice to feel like you've had a hand in that progress. It's also just nice being able to see them grow into their own person. You want them to do well. You're rooting for them. With everything going on in the world, it's nice to have someone on the other side of the world to cheer on and help in whatever small ways possible. 

I've met my sponsor child twice. It's strengthened the connection so thoroughly. Before, when we'd send packets, I was never entirely sure that what I was sending was what she wanted. After having met her, I got a good sense of her likes and dislikes, and could tailor the packet to be things I knew she wanted and needed. Meeting her also made a stronger bond between the two of us. I now have great memories of swimming at Tutu's pool on a sunny day, or singing poorly translated Taylor Swift lyrics in the back of the truck. And those are memories that the two of us will always share. Meeting them makes them feel real. It's not just sending money and items somewhere in the world - they're going to a real person with real dreams and struggles. 

Heidi Mullins (Megan's partner Sponsor) writes:

Opening a Sponsor's Packet

My sister, Starr, went on a mission trip to Hot Springs in Thailand, so I got to hear directly from her about what she experienced. Knowing exactly who my money would be going to and who it would be benefiting was really intriguing, so I looked into it more and decided to sponsor a child jointly with Megan.  

Seeing how the money is being used in a personal and direct way - knowing my money is going to the child I am sponsoring to suit their immediate needs. It's also fun making personalized care packages specifically for my sponsor child. My sponsor child, Apple, has now graduated and knowing that my financial contribution helped her achieve her goal of being a nursing assistant is very rewarding. 

I've had the privileged of meeting my sponsor child, Apple, twice (2012 and 2014). Seeing how much she grew in those two years was incredible. Even seeing how much she changed from the first picture we received from when she arrived at Hot Springs, to when I first met her in 2012 - she looked so much healthier and happier! It was fun getting to meet her, hug her, and get to know her more (finding out her favourite colour, bible verse, subject in school, etc). It makes sponsoring so much more personal. As sponsors, we've been told that the Kids have devotions twice a day (morning and night) and that they pray for their sponsors every day - but being able to participate in those daily devotions and being there is life changing. I also feel like for those who haven't had a chance to meet their sponsor child personally, just having the connection through Highview with Hot Springs makes it so much more intimate than possible through other large organizations. When Suradet and Yupa have a need, we're able to pray specifically for that need. We get to see pictures and hear stores of the kids we sponsor.

 Emily Inthof sponsors a young guy named Bang (who hilariously plays the drums!).  She writes:

Bang, sporting his "I take my drumming seriously" look.

I decided to become a sponsor when I became a bit more financially stable after I graduated university. Sponsoring a child is a very simple way to give back and it can make a huge difference in that child's life. 

Knowing that I'm helping a specific child have a home at Hot Springs is a big deal to me. But it's also cool to see pictures and real stories/drawings from my sponsor child; it's a bit closer of a connection than other sponsorship programs.

Our soon-to-be Senior Pastor Erin and her husband Dave recently came alongside to sponsor Laywee, one of the children of our staff couple Pastors Jaroen and Dtu. Here's some of their thoughts.

Laywee

Our family found ourselves with more than we needed and were looking for a way to give back. When Laywee's sponsorship came up, he was God's answer to our prayers.

Knowing that Laywee is "a ministry kid" much like our own boys, whose parents are working hard for God's kingdom, makes us feel like there is a connection. It's hard being a PK. As parents, we appreciate when others love on our boys, and pay attention to what they need or want. We wanted to give that gift to another ministry family.

We haven't met Laywee yet, but the fact that this is a possibility is very exciting for us.

These are Sponsors, among others who've joined the Hot Springs family, who are making a difference.

How?

Most of our children are from rural mountain villages that exist well below the poverty line.
Children from mountain villages do not have birth certificates, therefore cannot go to school, therefore cannot break out of the cycle of poverty.
Children in the mountain villages often do not have enough to eat, poor nutrition at best.
In these rural settings there is minimal communication with the 'outside' world in that tribal languages are not the language of commerce and education in Thailand.

But...
If these children can go to school and get positions of influence within the greater society, change can happen from within.
This is not about western ideas being imposed upon Asian cultures, by the way.  This is about equipping them to be change agents within their own culture.

True, we are a Christian organization so there is clearly a faith-based world view in our raising of the children.  We make no apologies for that.  In fact, the Christian understanding that we have one and only one life to live, meaning that our choices in this life have great weight and consequences, is a effective motivator within a culture that often does not understand the cause and effect connection in the same way.

There are always children on the waiting list!

Even though Hot Springs is not accepting new children into our family right at this time, we are always seeking out new partners who want to make a difference in the life of a child in this way.

There are several ways to do that.

• Sponsor one child for $75.00 per month through our simple Pre-Authorized Withdrawal program.

• Sponsor one university student for $2,000 per year, payments arranged to your convenience.

• General contributions to Hot Springs to help cover staff salaries, repairs and upkeep to facilities.

• General contributions to the new school building project happening 'soon'.

All contributions go through Highview Community Church and are tax deductible.

Traditional school uniforms.  Must be Friday!

If becoming a Sponsor sounds like a good fit for your own passions and desires to make a difference, and if you're up for the adventure, please let us know.

Contact me at rabreithaupt@hcckw.ca and I we can set up a time to chat, arrange for an in person visit, and otherwise make something surprising happen once again.

For further reading about the plight of children in Thailand please see:

http://www.straitstimes.com/asia/se-asia/idyllic-thai-province-hides-a-dirty-secret

http://unesdoc.unesco.org/images/0025/002527/252749e.pdf

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