Heading Home

In a matter of hours we'll be boarding the plane for the long flight that will bring us home to all we know and love in Canada.  Make no mistake, every one of us is very aware of the amazing lives we have and the people we are so grateful to share them with.

Even so, the goodbyes are always hard.  There are people we know and love in Thailand now too, people who know and love us and have invested in us in oh so many ways while we've been here.  That leaves an impact on the soul that is not easily dismissed. 

So we leave little pieces of our heart here, and bring home with us a bucket load of memories and experiences and life-changing soul stuff, hoping that those amazing people with whom we are so grateful to share our lives with can be patient with our processing.

I would officially like to thank this year's Team for being particularly gracious to one another and to our hosts, and for their willingness to go with 'the flow' even when 'the flow' sometimes felt more like a raging rapid run of the unexpected in terms of ministry opportunities.  You were fantastic to travel with, room with, eat with and serve with, even in and maybe especially because of being in a completely different environment than we are all used to, together at Highview. 

Boy, you were once again an above-and-beyond interpreter, becoming more and more part of our Team and part of our hearts.  We will be praying for you as you head to San Francisco next month, to begin the next part of the story God is writing into your life.  Blessings and blessings my dear friend.

Apple, Bao, Bee, Beeyung, Bouy, Boy, Chuenlung, Da, Eg, Entron, Fruk, Kratae, Mee-oo, Miki, Nok Gaew, Nut, Paula, Porn, Rompo, Saiy, Somchai, Thim, Tonkao, Two and Wara.  You have captured my heart.  As long as the Lord gives me strength I will keep coming back, to be here for you, advocate for you, support you and cheer you on.  It is the earnest desire of my being to see every one of you grow to become healthy and strong and happy adults, sharing the love of our Jesus to your people.  Each one of you makes my heart sing.

Suradet and Yupa, there are just no words.  It pains me deeply to leave you, knowing that it will now be six months before I see your faces again, before we can have the across-the-table conversations, the sharing in ministry, the laughing and singing and serving together that has so bonded my heart to yours.  Oh what a plan God had in mind when He arranged all of this!  I just can't believe I get to do with this you.  What a gift you are to my life!

Often it's the pain in life that marks what's most important.  

The painful goodbyes are like that.

If There's A Pool In Heaven.....

Just a quick pictures-mostly post to try to capture just a little bit of the 

piece of heaven that was our swimming outing yesterday.  

To watch these kids playing with such reckless joy is beyond-words beautiful. 

Bouy

Cheunlung and Esther

Erin Nok Gaew, Bouy and Tonkao

Bell (Bao)

Rompo

Paula and Kratae

A view of the pool.

Afterwards, noodles at Yupa's Mom's house!

The Language we all Speak

-By Erin

But I don't speak Thai. 

This was probably my number one anxiety from the moment Dave and I first began the conversation about this trip to Thailand last September.

Of course, I wouldn't be the only one. Bring a team of seven "farangs" (white people) to Thailand and everyone on both sides of the equation expects that lots of charades and patience will be needed for even the most basic communication to take place (thank you; yes, I'm full; where is the bathroom?).

But for me, it was more than that.

It won't be any big shocker to hear a pastor say that she loves words. Words are the tools or our trade. We use them to preach, counsel and teach. We pour over them, weigh them, measure them, sift them and dispense them with the greatest care. We stir them together into sermons we hope will penetrate to the heart. Words, the right words, can be for our people, a window into the mystery and love of God. Words matter.

But my obsession with words goes deeper still. 

I have always been articulate, as long as I can remember (and my mother assures me that this began even before that time). I always felt that words were like obedient pets, always ready to do my bidding. Always ready to take me where I needed to go quickly and efficiently. Expressing my thoughts succinctly while keeping my feelings safely out of arms reach. More than tools, words are my armor. 

But not in Thailand. 

In Thailand, my words are more like a few bare threads, unable to express very much of anything.

Swa-tee-ka! (Hello); Kup-koon-ka (Thank you); Prajao oi porn (God bless you).

 In Thailand, words expose so much more than they protect. I knew it would be like this, and this is why I was so afraid to come.

But, as it turns out, taking off my armor feels a lot different than I thought it would. Lighter.

I am less protected, yes. Less shielded with the facade of competence and independence that I wear so well at home, but in the absence of words I am finding myself translated into a new and different language. Difficult to learn, but easier in its expression and more beautiful in its form.

This is the language we all speak. It is the language of badminton and chess. It is the language of friendship bracelets around little wrists. It is the language of smiles and silly made up games. Of french braids and ping-pong and elephant rides. It is the language of peek-a-boo, of a shared meal, of humble service, of friendship and of love. 

This is the language that brought two churches from opposite sides of the planet to work together as partners in the redemptive work of the kingdom of God.

I’m nowhere near fluent. Sometimes, I’m sure, my thick accent of pride makes me nearly incomprehensible, but I stumble along. Because being here has me increasingly convinced that love is the trade language of the Kingdom, a primal language, pre-Babel, full of Edenic influence and Revelation notes, an ancient, heavenly language whispered to us in the dark while God knit us each together in our mother wombs.

This is to which our souls long to return. This is the language we all speak.  

Elephant Healing

Da, second from the left, front row.

 It's Da who confesses first.  She's been up since 2 am, unable to sleep from the excitement of the day ahead.  Today is Elephant Ride Day!!!!!  Apparently this has a similar affect as Christmas Eve, with several of the children finding it hard to fall asleep, and if and when they did, finding it just as hard to stay asleep.  Today we do something we never thought we'd ever have the chance to do! The anticipation practically vibrates in Da's little face, and ripples through the children, even to the older ones.

Suradet and Yupa

I'll admit that I've second-guessed this choice of outing for this trip.  Two factors significantly increased the cost between the time we first said we'd do this (last October) and the time when we were ready to make the booking.  One - The Canadian dollar took a beating in the markets, making the exchange rate rather disappointing.  Two - The cost of the ride (two people per elephant) went up by about 35%.    When we calculated the total cost for just over 30 people to have a half hour ride, see the show, and have a simple lunch, it seemed like more than what we normally would consider reasonable.  I even appealed to Sponsors and Highviewers in general for donations to help cover the difference between what had already been budgeted and what we would ultimately need to make this happen.

Tonkao, my riding partner.

It all came in, and comparatively, for the size of group we had and the bigness of the event, it was still a bargain from a Western budget perspective.  Still, there is always that sense of wanting to be sure we are spending kingdom money appropriately, frugally, in keeping with the values of Hot Springs and particularly the careful spending habits of Pastors Suradet and Yupa.

Now, post-event, I am pretty convinced it was a good thing.  A very good thing.

And if Da's small, vibrating face isn't enough proof, there's Nok Gaew.

She's 8, and new to Hot Springs.  And while each child goes through a period of adjustment upon arrival, Nok Gaew seems to be just a little quieter than the rest, even after a year here.  She's shy, for sure, and the last thing we want is to put pressure on any child to be someone they're not, or epxress more than they are willing.  Still, it's been a challenge, sometimes, to engage her.

But on Elephant Ride Day it was as if a new little girl emerged.  And as I watched her smile for practically the whole day  I couldn't help but consider what sadness brought her to Hot Springs in the first place.  I know her Dad isn't in the picture, so right off the bat, what's the story with that?  I know her Mother could not afford to send her or her sister (Paula) to school, and that her place of work did not

A rare and wonderful smile from Nok Gaew.  And this is just standing in line!

allow children present.  I know that they lived in a  'dangerous' part of town, and that leaving the girls home alone all day just wasn't safe.  I know these factors, this little part of the story, so I can only extrapolate what kinds of sadnesses punctuated or even permeated her early years.

Childhood memories are supposed to include fun and safety and having enough to eat.  Hers didn't.  Same is true for every child here.  That's why they're here.

And that's why it seems to me now that elephants can be healing.  That this day of not being able to sleep from the excitement, and the loud joyful singing in the truck on the way there, and the excited giggles in the line, and the extra hand-squeeze of excitement as we step onto the elephant's back, and the non stop smiling for the whole ride, the whole day long.....that all of this is making an essential happy memory.  It's inputting joy-data that challenges the previous claims that life is scary and sad.  There's happiness instead, and fun.  There are people who love you and come for visits and be the aunts and uncles, grammas and grandads that you don't otherwise have, to spoil you just a little.  You have a Mom and a Dad who want you to experience good things.  And the future can be very different than the past.

I am convinced that a whole lot of healing happened on Elephant Ride Day.  And not just for the kids.  But for us.  At least for me.  Because, to be part of this?  It erases some junk in my own life too.  And life seems just a little bigger and more beautiful than it did the day before.


[Additional Note:  We are conscious of the sensitivities to animal cruelty.  By our own observation, the Mesa Elephant Camp practices a philosophy of deep connection between rider and elephant, evident in the way the animals interact, not just during 'performance' time, but also during bathing and other 'off' times.  The housing and nursery area are open to the public.  Half way through the ride, the elephants even got a snack of sticky rice:).]

Not My Life

*Thoughts from Erin's First Trip to Thailand*

........................

This isn't my life. Not really.

That's the thought that's been beating in my head, over and over like a drum since we arrived at Hotsprings Children's Home outside Chaingmai Thailand more than a week ago. The others unfolded themselves from their economy plane seats full of a joyful (if slightly weary) anticipation but I found myself stiff and nervous. Awkward and embarrassed before the beautiful children who greeted us at the airport and insisted on carrying my luggage and draping me with strings of fragrant flowers.

What am I doing here? 

The food is sometimes spicy, often strange and always wonderful. Filling our bellies 3 times a day with one decadence after another. French fries for breakfast, sticky rice and mangoes drizzled with some kind of liquid coconut heaven. Clear refreshing soups and every meal a platter heaped with the strangest most delicious fruit. And don't even think about trying to help with the dishes!

How strange it is not to do the cooking.

The daily 5:30 worship times where 25 children and a random spattering of others gather around one acoustic guitar, clad in hoodies and pajama pants to belt out their praises out to the Father. Even on Saturday.

I would never volunteer to get up this early at home. 

And the children. So shy at first, but now constantly grabbing our pale arms and leading us away to teach us a new game, a new word. To touch our strange-coloured hair or peer over my shoulder as I sketch their lovely faces. It's hard to imagine now the kinds of horrors that brought them to Pastor Suradet and Pastor Yupa's home. The hope and potential seems to shine from their lovely golden faces like the sun.

This doesn't feel like an orphanage. 

But of all the newness of my first trip to Thailand from the smokey sunrises to the oppressive afternoon heat, to the dried beetles that count as "snack food," I think the strangest experience I've had so far is myself. 

I'm different here.

So many of the things that are so central to my self-concept in my regular Canadian existence just don't seem to apply here. My way with words, my driving ambition, my sense of independence and competency...it all seems to just evaporate in the afternoon sun, and I am left with my naked and vulnerable self. Unable to "do something useful," unable to "be productive," unable to impress or push or advance. 

Henri Nouwen says that we have all fallen into the lie which says presence must be useful, and that in so doing, we have lost the simple strength of being with. Of loving and being loved. Of being together instead of being useful. This isn't really my life.

But maybe it could be.

19 Kids and Counting!

Saturday morning at Hot Springs.  Morning worship on 2 Corinthians 5:17 and new creations, reflects the freshness of this sunrise, and the deep joy in knowing something pretty spectacular happened yesterday on the last day of English Camp.  Our worship is but an echo of Heaven's party.

It was four days of everything; colours, alphabet, days of the week, months of the year, vocabulary, introducing oneself, showing hospitality.  We pronounced, we printed and we practiced our English.  We sang of the high, deep reaching love of God, about standing on the Rock of His Word, and we danced and shouted and sang.

All throughout the week, bit by bit, we introduced God's rescue plan for humanity.  Gently, simply, and with full permission of the school principle, himself a Buddhist, but having been taught English by a Christian, and made very curious by the kindness shown.  Why seven farangs would travel half way around the world and volunteer to teach his children English - "At my school, no English teacher" - was an amazement to him.

And yesterday, through indicating on our decision cards (designed for no pressure, low key), 19 children said they wanted to follow Jesus Christ.

We presume nothing.  What God does in little hearts, only the Spirit of God knows.  But it was clear that yesterday, in that room, something pretty spectacular happened.  And somehow we got to be part of it.

The nurturing of these new seeds will be up to Pastor Suradet and Yupa now.  This opportunity only came about through their years of quiet faithfulness in their community.  They paved the road for us to be there.  They will carry this through.  So we will pray for these children, and we will prayer for Suradet and Yupa and Hot Springs Church.

AND, in a totally surprising development, the principle has asked me to come back in and teach the children English, when I am back later this year for three months.  (Oh Lord, what are you up to?)
The opportunities take my breath away.

And now today, the Team rests.  A day to restore, play with the children, perhaps sort through the day camp bins to make sure the supplies are in good order.  Perhaps a visit to a market tonight.

Quiet, fresh, getting warmer.  I can hear a game of ping pong happening.  Under the dining shelter kids are playing chess.  Badmington is a favourite down on the grass.  Beside me, Suradet has his Bible open.  I breath slowly, happy in those deeper ways of being, being here affords.

On the Fly

First day of Day Camp done.  Wildly (and I mean wildly) successful day, due to the phenomenal flexibility of this fabulous Team :).

Despite all our well laid out plans to
a) Have everything ready to take over to the school and
b) Arrive in plenty of time to do set up and be ready for registration

We instead
a) Left an entire suitcase and carry bag of Day Camp supplies back at Hot Springs (more accurately, I did) and
b) Didn't arrive until 10 minutes before start time, when the children were already in the room waiting for us (this one's on Suradet ;).

However, God was there and answering all your prayers, so we did just fine in spite of ourselves.

It was great to see some familiar faces from last year's Day Camp.  (2014 Team, do you remember the boy who's nickname is Baseball, and the other tall boy who's nickname is Name?  We're not kidding). Sang the Alphabet song in a variety of crazy ways.  Reinforced simple English phrases for introducing yourself, and simple hospitality.  Reviewed the days of the week and the months of the year.  Went on a Lion Hunt (of course we did!) and jumped around like crazy people to "Your Everlasting Love" (of course we did).  And it was all a happy mayhem of joy and fun and hopefully some learning of basic English concepts.

Today we introduced the idea that we all need a rescuer to help us with the problem that we all do wrong.  My cups-on-hands illustration didn't exactly work out the way I wanted, because my ninja volunteer figured out how to use his mouth to get those full cups down to the floor.  Clever guy.  Forgot to say, "can't use your hands".  But oh well.  Tomorrow it's Christmas!  God's rescue plan begins.

For tomorrow, I think we're a little more ready, but who knows.  We're making friends and making memories and we'll see what God wants to do with what we've brought, both in our suitcases in in our hearts, to share with these beautiful children.

Sorry I can't post pictures today.  Hopefully tomorrow.  We have better connectivity, but still having some challenges between Hot Springs and the Guest House when it comes to transferring things off my phone to the blog. 

We all miss all of you, and continue to be so very grateful for all your prayers and support.

Connected at Last

Good morning from the porch of Suradet and Yupa's home.  Finally, a chance to blog, both the internet connections and the time being available at the same time :).

It was fabulous to wake up to a fresh morning.  Last night was our first full night's sleep since leaving Canada, and it felt good.   We're all doing well, grateful for cooler mornings (23C as I write), knowing that it will heat up substantially by supper time.  Jet lag doesn't really hit hard until sometime after lunch, and by then we will back and able to rest and stay away from the heat.

What an amazing welcome we have received.  There's such a spirit of joy and excitement here at Hot Springs.  Suradet and Yupa are well, relaxed and happy.  They are talking about their time in Canada a lot, and with great fondness.  

In a few moments we will head over the school to set up for Day Camp.  Yesterday we had the chance to go see the room and scope out the set up.  Also met the principal.  He told me they have no English teacher at this school and was delighted that our team would come.  He's already asked us back for next year!

While we were there, some of the kindergarten children couldn't help their curiosity at seeing farangs for the first time.  They smiled and waved at us, and their teacher invited us to come right into the classroom.  A spontaneous English 'lesson' just sort of happened, with "Head and Shoulders" and "Lion Hunt".  So much fun.  It occurred to me that anyone with the inclination and resources could come and teach ESL to these kids so easily.  The world is so full of opportunities to bring hope and joy.

So here goes.  First day of Day Camp.  Let's see what God unfolds for us.

Thanks for your patience.  We will try to send as many posts as possible.  Hopefully we can get internet set up at our guest house, which will help.

Sawat di, ka.

Ruth Anne